Your mouth is God's brothel.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
