I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize