Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
