Cold hands, warm shart.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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