Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize