Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
