Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
