I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
