Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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