carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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