Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
