O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she peed on how many people?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
