Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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