I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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