I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
