I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
