Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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