oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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