Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize