It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
