it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize