I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
