Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
