My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
