So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What drink are we having for lunch?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
