were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
