So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
