she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So squirting runs in the family.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
