So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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