I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
