Having a random hookup so left but love u
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
