when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Randomize