Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
