Sry I called you an 8
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
