she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just high enough for therapy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
