You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
