Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Floor bacon is actually really good
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
