I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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