the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize