JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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