Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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