1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
