just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
