you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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