id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
