Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
