Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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