Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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