Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
