plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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