he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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