You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
