Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize