Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
