Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize