Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize