is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
