Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
