Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
