i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
