I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
